MDR is not “working” anymore; she is just managing the place. She has a boyfriend that she has known for 5-6 years and things are getting serious. He was never a customer and knew what she was doing. I respect her decision. I could never have had a relationship with her because I met her as a customer. The fact that he is a “regular working guy” is both comforting and makes it worse. Deep sigh. I need a girlfriend.
The following came into Hog Beatty’s e-mail in-box. My response is at the bottom.
Dear Beatty,
My humble pleasure to write you this important letter since you have the same surname with my late customer which is suitable for this deal,I was able to get your contact through an international profile in my earnest searching for a reliable and trust worthy person that can handle this confidential transaction with me.
I am a top management staff in a bank here in Nigeria. I have been working in this bank since the year 2000.I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. In January 2002, A Gold Merchant (Mr. Elliot Beatty) made a numbered-time (fixed) deposit for twelve calendar months in a Domiciliary Account in my Branch running into a very large sum of money. At the time of opening this account, he did not name a next of kin promising to do so in his next visit to Nigeria. He never came back and nobody heard from him. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification of Account Status to his forwarding address but got no reply. In February 2005, we sent a reminder of same letter and finally we discovered that Mr. Elliot Beatty died of heart failure.
After further investigation in Oct 2006, I found out that he did not leave a “WILL” and all attempts to trace his Next-of-kin were fruitless. I therefore made further investigation and discovered that the late Mr. Elliot Beatty did not declare any Next-of-Kin in all his official documents, including his bank deposit Papers. This sum of money is still floating in our Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one would come forward to claim it.
According to the local Laws, at the expiration of 6 (six) years, the money will revert to the ownership of our bank if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Consequently upon the above, my request is that I would like you to stand in as the Next-of-kin to the late Mr.Elliot Beatty since you have the same surname with him,I would document you in our records here as the next of kin to the man so that you can make claims to the deposit. With me here your claims will be approved without delay and the funds transferred to your nominated bank account. Though we need to discuss in detail as to our participation and modalities. Be assured that I am in charge and there will be no problem but I’ll not fail to beg you to observe religiously the high level of secrecy required in this deal for us to succeed.
Please I await your urgent response.
Yours faithfully.
Mr. Obi Julius.
Bills & Exchange
my response:
Dear Mr. Obi,
You’re hilarious.
Best regards,
Hog Beatty
Oy! Real Girl seemed like such a head case during drive to party. Got better as we drank. Food was incredible.
Spoke with twenty-something hottie. Real Girl commented, “Look at you flirting with Cameron Diaz”, because hottie had relatively short side-swept blonde hair (and because Real Girl was jealous).
Made out with Real Girl: nice sweet, soft kisses. “I’m out of practice”, she said. That was okay with me; it was nice to kiss a real girl.
With the assistance of Zeke, soon I will upload the theme song (that’s right, the theme song) for my novel, ‘I Fell Well’, along with the first chapter. Enjoy!
I was eager to use the new cutting board that MDR had given me earlier this week. It is a 1 foot square (3/8″ thick) tile of highly polished (1 side) mottled granite with 4 soft, white, plastic hemispherical ‘feet’ secured to the bottom.
I had first used it Wednesday afternoon-night/Thursday morning to cut and snort a massive quantity of cocaine on/off of it. It was much more convenient than placing the 14″ x 54″ mirror, that I use for working out in, on my dining room table.
Similarly, it is somewhat smaller and certainly more elegant than the plastic cutting board I’d used heretofore for fruit, veggies, tofu, etc.
When I bought them this afternoon during a veggie and fruit only grocery shopping, I didn’t know that I’d be combining the following:
4 boxes sugar-free orange gelatin mix -
(prepared per box directions)
2 liters sugar-free orange soda -
(substituted for cold water in gelatin directions)
8 small-medium size oranges -
(cut into sixths [first non-drug use of new cutting board] and peeled)
thus resulting in a huge bowl of almost calorie-free fruit gelatin.
I had worked out earlier in the day:
15 reps X 3 sets each of 5 free-weight moves for shoulders
15 reps X 3 sets each of 13 leg-toning moves
4.5 mile bike ride
and tried not to eat much:
small egg-white omelette
pack of extra-firm tofu sauteed with much soy sauce
some kimchee
much coffee
as, after having taken my sister out last night for a birthday dinner:
vodka
sashimi (2 courses)*
wilted spinach salad*
Chilean sea-bass*
macademia nut pie w/vanilla ice cream*
coffee
*shared
I then proceeded (after having taken her home) to go out for:
personal pan pizza
bean burrito
nachos
burger (see ‘No Comment’ post)
I haven’t smoked dope in over 7 months and, yet, I can really put it away when hungry, bored, etc.
So, I was trying to counteract the massive quantities of last night with exercise and lighter (not lesser) fare today.
Not being able to attack personal paperwork, I began to prepare the food I had bought for consumption next week (as if it would last that long).
After putting the gelatin in the refigerator to ‘cook’, I, again, used the new cutting board for:
two (2) medium/large-sized sweet onions – diced
four (4) jalapeno peppers (remove seeds to avoid ‘heat’) – thinly-sliced crosswise
threw them into a seven (7) quart sautese that had a few tablespoons of fake (non-trans-fat, 20 calories/tblspn.) butter (no oil on hand) ‘melting’ in it. I tossed the onions and peppers around and after a few minutes added a two pound bag of pre-cut/washed carrots, snow peas and broccoli; a lot of low-sodium soy sauce and a splash of water. After steaming/sautéing for a few minutes it was done and put in the fridge for whenever I would be hungry……
……which was about 5 minutes later.
I too enjoyed our lunch. It was a nice change of pace for me and the food was fantastic. Thanks for the soy cheese recommendations. I will give it a whirl for her son. I hope to explore the Korean market sometime soon. I enjoy grocery stores strange enough. Tomorrow I will send you the contact info for architect at architectural firm. And thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it. More later.
her name, AIA
Vice President
huge national real estate developer
Ya know previous psychiatrist was so correct: we want to make love with the people we know. I want to make love with this woman. I’ve known her for a number of years and always had a crush on her. She is so smart, sweet and lovely.
Hi her name,
Thank you for a very enjoyable time at lunch, yesterday. Thank you, also, for the tour of your most impressive ‘offices’.
On the issue of soy cheese for you and her son’s name, the brand I have found to be most pleasing is Tofu Rella. It comes in an 8 oz. block; I’ve enjoyed both the ‘cheddar’ and ‘jalopeno’ (I may have misspoke about the pepper jack) flavors. Recently I‘ve bought it at the Ralph’s Fresh Faire at Wilshire and Bundy. You may also find it at Albertson’s and/or Bob’s Market at 17th and Ocean Park Boulevard in Santa Monica. Galaxy Nutrition’s ‘Veggie Slices’ are also rather good cheese substitutes.
Cosmos’ Radish Kimchi can be found at Ralph’s and Albertson’s.
Let me know what you think of the Galleria grocery store (Western & Olympic) after you’ve had a chance to shop there.
A referral to the contact at architectural firm would be most appreciated. I’ve attached the Project Directory that her colleague sent to me many months ago. Any updates other than architectural firm?
Again, lunch was most enjoyable and I am compelled to tell you (in the most business-like/professional way possible): you looked absolutely gorgeous.
Best Regards,
Yeah so I’m taking “real girl” to a birthday party tonight. It’s our first date and the first time I will be seeing her since I met her a few weeks ago. We’ve been e-mailing quite a bit including my sending her the link to the tango scene fron “Scent of a Woman” adding that I’d like to learn that particular dance though she had already backed away from the dance lessons I had agreed to when we met.
Anyway, it’s been a week or so since I’ve visited MDR’s place and I was feeling my “appetite” this morning. I thought to myself, so selflessly, I really need to be a gentleman tonight and not come on to “real girl” so I would be doing her a huge favor by “relieving my stress” this morning so that, tonight, I am not constantly ogling her, mentally undressing her and thinking about/planning on having sex with her. Thoughts of my two hour lunch, yesterday, with a gorgeous Asian customer who I’ve known for years and looked particularly devastatingly beautiful (I am running out of adverbs and adjectives.) contributed to this morning’s urge. See next 2 posts (”Follow-up e-mail to yesterday’s ‘business’ lunch guest.” and “And her response.”) for some insight; I will try to write a prequel describing the lunch.
So I took the 10:30 AM (first) appointment with Double-J. I must have alternated between her breasts about four times, making huge wet circles with my tongue like a windshield wiper centered on her nipple rotating 360 degrees, simultaneously wetting and wiping the entirety of her breast(s). I was “inspired” to alternate this with my typical sucking and grazing of her soon-hard nipples.
I then proceeded to eat her (see post of 7/31/07 for details) and she was enjoying herself quite a bit as was I - indulging in her delectable, writhing wetness.
After only a very few minutes I wanted to fuck her and she was able to take me as she had become so wet. She gasped and I immediately went into high-gear. It was so nice to feel the softness of her breasts on my chest as I pounded her (in a very nice way) at a high rate. She held my shoulders and my arms in a way unlike before (with more than usual affection and feel) which I think is a result of my work with free weights. I went back to eating her and then mounted her again. (again, see post of 7/31/07 for more detail) She came once or twice throughout all of this and then, unsurprisingly I felt a wave and caught it. She came, again, just seconds before I filled her.
When I came out into the living room, after showering and dressing, she got up, gave me a big smile and a soft peck full on my lips. I told her I had a nice time (this whole episode took 15 minutes) and she confirmed that she enjoyed it, too.
I hope “real girl” appreciates the efforts I went to so that she has a pleasant (unaccosted) time tonight.
…this Hendrick’s gin is fantastic straight from the freezer; the buzz is fine and the multi-layered satisfaction of matching it with a fat pimento-stuffed olive is downright glorious.
from: Hog Beatty
to: KPCC 89.3 FM
re: air talent
Ted Chen - yes
Larry Mantle - no (doesn’t know of open questions)
Frank Stoltze - yes
Pat Morrison - no (cheap shots)
their response:
from: “Curtis, Craig”
to: Hog Beatty
cc: “Risko, Rob”
date: Aug 28, 2007 8:07 AM
subject: air talent
mailed-by: mpr.org
Dear Mr. Beatty-
Gotta hand it to you. That’s the pithiest air talent review I’ve seen in a while.
Craig Curtis
KPCC Program Director
my response:
Dear Mr. Curtis-
I appreciate your taking the time to respond.
By doing so you honor and flatter me.
If you like pith, try this:
http://www.stonedandnaked.com/?p=51
Best regards,
Hog Beatty